Monday, October 11, 2010

How Hollywood is ruining horror movies for generations to come

Well I think we all know that Hollywood inevitably ruins anything they can get their grubby little hands on and horror movies are no exception. In the last 10 years or so we've witnessed and been subjected to some pretty awful horror movies from tinsel town. And not in a good way either. In the oh my god I want to stab my eyes out kind of way. Of course we are being schooled in the ways of real horror from the French, Japanese, and Koreans. They really know how to mind fuck you with some truly disturbing entries in the horror movie genre. Hollywood of course doesn't care about making something that will last and has any depth. No, they only care about the almighty dollar. When your blinded by greed and stupidity, horrible things are soon to follow. I present to you now the main reasons why Hollywood is ruining horror movies for generations to come.

WTF is this? Vampires and Werewolves turned into a soap opera.

Vampires and Werewolves. Hollywood with the Twilight series has ruined the undead and cursed creatures for all new comers to horror movies. Also let's not forget the slew of TV shows that have followed the Twilight formula. Now one could argue that the Twilight series is not even horror at all, which one could say is possibly true. But, their legends lie firmly in mythology and folklore which has them as pretty vile and gruesome creatures and should be respected. Not to mention that a vast array of movies to proceed this series has established them firmly within their mythological boundaries as bloodthirsty monsters. Vampires shouldn't be some sparkling, day walking, and high school attending creatures.

This is a scary Vampire                          

They should be blood thirsty eccentric aristocrats living in Transylvania (Dracula or Count Orlock) and terrorizing the locals. Werewolves shouldn't be shape shifting humans that transform into wolves. They should be cursed and forced to turn into flesh eating wolf demon hybrids that don't know what they do when transformed. I mean vampires and werewolves always sort of had this self loathing and were looking for a way to either die or find a cure. Hollywood is tricking these tweens into thinking this is what vampires and werewolves should be. We are breeding a society of pussies who know nothing of real horror and fear. Once they finally do experience a real vampire or werewolf they will be scarred for life. I mean the blame could be partially be put upon the author of the original books and the morons who read them, but ultimately it's Hollywood's greed that gets us into this mess.

Complete with Leatherface birth

Too many damm unnecessary bad remakes, re-imaginings, and prequels. Note to Hollywood. Please get an original idea in your gotdamm brain for once and leave classics alone.I think a lot of this started happening after the Texas Chainsaw Massacre re-make was successful. I'll admit it was well done but completely unnecessary. In the re-make they let you see way more than you need to. In the original you don't even really see much blood and gore and part of what made the movie work was the gritty look of it. It almost looked like it was a snuff film or something at certain points. Less can be more and can work well when handled correctly. So following this a slew of horror movie remakes came out such as Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Pirahna 3D. All of which were very mediocre and just went to show why the originals were so much better. News Flash! There was nothing wrong with the originals in the first place that warranted a remake and they were done so much better in the original. Also, stop with the prequels. Part of what makes a horror movie work is that we don't really have all of the info and that makes it that much more mysterious. We don't need to go into a psychological evaluation of the killers childhood and upbringing to enjoy his murderous rampages on unsuspecting teens. A brief synopsis in the original sufficed. They are also doing a prequel to The Thing to which I ask why? We don't need to know what happened at the other lab. We can pretty much surmise it was the same thing that happened at the American lab. And you can't really get much better effects than we had in the original that's for sure. I'm sure they'll go CGI on the prequel, but whatever. Yes remakes can be good like Dawn of the Dead Let Me In though it just because you can doesn't mean you have to. When there is nothing wrong with the original, please leave it alone. I know this will never happen, but I'm just saying is all.

PG13 horror movies. Now in the past 10 years or so I have seen a slew of horror movies released as PG13 instead of R that just basically are not real horror. Drag Me To Hell, Bats, Cursed. and The Fog remake. I'm sick of this shit. Depending on the type of horror, we should have lots of tits and ass, gore, and prolific profanity. The MPAA, the studios, and angry mothers have decided what the American public can and can't handle seeing. First, what about accountability for parents. If you don't want your kid seeing something scary or gory, then don't let them see it. Either way, you saying that is going to have them wanting to see it even more so. If they get scared or wet their pants then tough shit.

Hammer time? Now this is a real horror movie.

We have become a pussy nation of people that can't handle a little gore and now don't really even have the freedom to do so. Now the studios just want to make more money. So in an effort to cater to a larger audience they cut out all of the scares and gore in recent horror movies, and it then becomes some watered down piece of crap that couldn't scare anyone. Supposedly the MPAA is mandatory, but you can't get a wide release to theaters without one so your basically screwed by big brother.They recently pulled Adam Green's Hatchet 2 because it was unrated. Complete and utter bullshit. Nope. The future of horror in Hollywood doesn't include adults for the most part. This is why we must look to Europe and Asia for real and original horror these days. Pure unadulterated gruesome goodness. Oh yes. I must say though back in the 70's and 80's there were some cool PG-13 horror/ sci-fi movies such as Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Jaws, and Tremors.

Awful special effects. Cool poster though.

CGI special effects vs. Traditional special effects. Now Hollywood for the most part has replaced the traditional special effects artist with computer generated effects. Where are the Tom Savini's of the world? The end result will and never does work as well as the old school squib packs and animatronics. I'm not quite sure why Hollywood does this. Is it because we don't have creative people anymore willing to do the work? No I think not. Just look at John Carl Buechlerin in Hatchet and various other horror movies he's done over the past twenty years. It comes down to money and time. Hollywood would like to crank out these new horror movie disasters fast and cheap. Good special effects are neither cheap nor fast. It takes time to create something special that will last. Ironically the CGI effects look just awful and are completely unnecessary. They basically butchered the Resident Evil franchise with CGI. Zombie movies need traditional effects for realistic looking gore I tells ya. Hopefully when Del Toro does Mountains of Madness we will see more animatronics and traditional makeup and effects rather than CGI. now don't get me wrong, I don't hate CGI. It has been masterfully done in countless movies and looks great. However it rarely is done well in horror movies and one has to wonder if this will ever change?

The Thing was a perfect example of awesome and unique special effects.

In conclusion, good horror movies in America are far and few between. This must stop. We used to be the innovators of this genre. So you know when the French are making insurmountably better horror films than you that you're in trouble. Nothing against the French mind you. I've thoroughly enjoyed their horror movies in the last few years. We must stop the pussification of American horror audiences with more tits and ass, gore, and traditional effects. Do it! Do it now!

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